Marriage Prep

    The dating world has also evolved over the years. It has become less serious and more casual. I think this is really evident, especially in college. Young adults postpone marriage and having kids and decide to create casual relationships. There are many reasons for people dating casually and hanging out instead of doing it more formally. As I mentioned before, there are many reasons for this shift on dating and what people think of it. On Elder Dallin H. Oaks’ talk is called “Dating versus Hanging Out”, he lists some of the reasons for this shift. 

    The first reason is ‘the cultural tides in our world run strongly against commitments and relationships” (Oaks). People are afraid to commit to something serious and sacred like marriage. Elder Dallin H. Oaks gives an example of this. He says that divorce has been a much easier process than it was a few years back. Knowing that people can facilitate the end to their marriage, makes it more “appealing” because that people don't need to stick around for the rest of their lives. Let’s take in consideration the fact that nowadays many couples don’t try to solve their marital problems and would rather jump onto getting a divorce. Elder Oaks also mentions that the idea of having children has become more unpopular which makes sense, since both women and men have become more career oriented and work driven. Elder Oaks mentions that commitment has become a word with a negative connotation. Many people are afraid of commitment because they feel like they could feel trapped or tied down to something that might keep them from progressing and succeeding in their careers. 

    The second reason that Elder Oaks gives is that since the women’s movement has increased, dating has become more disregarded. Now, the fact that the women’s movement has increased is great news because we are equal sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father, but it has been taken to another level in the aspect of independence. Many women don’t want to date and many women have even become more aggressive. Therefore, men are hesitant when asking women on dates because that is usually initiated from men. 

    The third reason he gives is that “hanging out is glamorized on TV programs about singles” (Oaks). This reason is pretty self explanatory. Many people watch TV shows that romanticize the idea of being single and being on your own. Many TV shows make it sound like it is more fun than dating because you would not have to be committed or seriously involved with someone. Some of these TV shows make dating appear as something boring since people are involved with one person. 

    The fourth and last reason that elder Oaks talks about is that the meaning of dating has changed drastically when referring to price. People feel like dates should be expensive in order to make them meaningful and they feel obligated to spend their money on all the fancy stuff. In reality, dating is pretty simple and what counts is the thought and act, and not the price. This is typically seen among teenagers and young adults. It is believed by society that dates should be very elaborate and complex. As I said before, dates should be simple. 

    I think that these talks can really open someone’s mind because it puts dating on another perspective. Dating shouldn’t be something dreadful. It should be joyful. Being seriously involved with someone and completely committed isn’t something bad. In fact, it can prepare young women and men to what marriage can look like since it shows a part of it. 

Resources: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2006/06/dating-versus-hanging-out?lang=eng